fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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