"it" just moved
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
