She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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