Moan for me like Helen Keller
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
