: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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