it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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