I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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