he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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