So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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