People in love make me want to vomit
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
