i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
