i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
