oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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