we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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