Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
