Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
