And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
