Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
