why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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