The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
