I cannot find my penis.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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