Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
