lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
