My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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