I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
