So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
