what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
