You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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