singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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