idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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