Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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