I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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