I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
