sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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