Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
