He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize