After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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