Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
