and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You took a bar mat shot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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