I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
