I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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