I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
