I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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