fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
