how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just gargled with NyQuil
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
