Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
