what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
