Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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