I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My hand turned me down
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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