Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
