How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
