"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you had me at cake vodka
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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