She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
