I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
