How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
