Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
