You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
