I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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