yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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